i laid down in my bed last night...closed my eyes, and let the rain of darkness wash over me as i fell into a deep sleep. For the first time in a long time, i slept ...and slept and slept so much i couldnt sleep anymore.
Then i woke up.
Have you ever had that feeling of fireworks when you kiss someone?
me neither.
But i saw it in a movie, i want that feeling ,, i want to have feelings.
FUCK MY LIFE!
I want the sweet rush of the monster to fill me, to take over and controll me, to hold me in place, Like Gravity
He said he loved me,,, befor he left, i said it back, my feelings are numb now, i have no idea if i was saying just because it sounded like the right thing to say or because i reall feel that way
i guess one day ill find out, like they say- you never know what you've got till its gone,
I think i love him, or i think i did befor he left me heartbroken and dull
Pillow and Blanket are the only people i can talk to , they both love me, more than a friend kind of love, but i dont want a relationship right now, me heart is broken beyond repair
guy, after guy, after guy they have all come and gone and left me scarred and broken.
somehow i have always found a way to trust again but im not sure how that was possible now
'the one guy i thought i could truly trust enough to give my heart, (my scared and torn abused heart)
took it with him when he left.
I dont think its possible for the living to live without a heart, but im proving myself wrong-
once again LIVING DEAD.
my pillow and blanket are the only comfort and pain releivers i have
when im with them, this pain goes away slightly.
untill they arent there, then the pain fills me body once again
im going to take a shower and try to make myself look alive.
dead.love,
The Broken
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